Honestly, after Randy Polk died, my precious husband, if I was going to have to remain on this planet without him I wanted to at least make a difference. My world suddenly changed in late 2013 and I saw everything differently.
First, I suddenly was hyper-sensitive around couples. I was either jealous because they were both still alive and seemed happy or I was angry. I was angry because I heard so many couples mistreating each other and taking each other for granted. They actually didn’t listen to each other; they interrupted each other. They treated strangers better than each other.
This was at least my perspective because of my broken heart. I wanted to scream at them, “If one of you were gone tomorrow would you regret the way treated each other? Would you wish your last words were loving instead of hateful?” I kind of became obsessed with my new message of finding a better way to be in relationship with people you loved. AND of course, as with everything, it starts with better communication.
It starts with resolving conflict in a healthy respectful way so there is no passive aggressive sideways anger that infiltrates the relationship and comes out in yelling, avoiding, insulting, ignoring, sabotaging, infidelity, and disrespect. I had a new mission so I went to graduate school to learn about conflict resolution. I became a Mediator, and it is interesting and satisfying and helpful.
As a result of the skills I learned as a mediator, I decided to teach couples, or parents and children, or coworkers to not run from conflict but resolve it. Then they can truly have the love and peace they crave. And, if and when tragedy strikes, they will have less regrets.
My life changed more in the last five years than the previous 25. My husband died, my sons grew up, moved away got married. I moved from my house that I lived in 25 years with my family. I sold the next house and moved again. I made another lifetime commitment to another wonderful man.
I continually learn to live with constant change, conflict, and loss. If I can do this while being civil and honest you can too.
Resolution Solutions has an upcoming Communication and Conflict Resolution Seminar on July 13 in Abilene, Texas. If you or someone you know could benefit from communication coaching skills follow the link to register today.